ok.... i am so irritated

I have just watched the uneven bars event and I am soooooooooooo over these strange rules and this age controversy thing has me yelling at the TV!!!!  Some of the rules make no sense.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... ok thank you for letting me vent! 

Impossible?

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given then to explore the power they have to change it.  Impossible is not a fact it's an opinion.  Impossible is not a declaration it's a dare.  Impossible is potential.  Impossible is temporary.  Impossible is nothing!

Read this in a Maxwell book and really liked it, so I thought I'd share

Repaving now? Really?

So... I guess the city of NY decided that our entire block needed street repairs.  I wouldn't know really due to the fact that I never drive!  SAD :(  But it was posted outside tonight from 6PM to to 6 AM that they were working and sure enough... 6 pm on the dot the noise began... I never realized how much of a ruckus those machines can be... of course the echo off the surrounding buildings doesn't help.   So anyway they tore up the street around our apt and then it got quiet so now just as I am trying to get myself to bed... they round the corner with more ruckus.. oh how the city speaks :)  Maybe I'll rent a car after this to try out the new roads!

Ahhhh Paige Davis

I woke up late this morning so I missed my intended church service... ( of course since is it NYC I still have 2 more options for the day)  So I decided to turn on the tube and what did I find.  A throw back to the good ol days and Paige Davis!  I love her! hosting a Space Trade in LA from 2002!  I miss watching this show and watching it makes me want a space of my own to play in! 

New Title

So I thought that the title i had was not enough.. me.. It was me.. but the sappy Jesus land plain jane me.. not the out here ready to take on the world and experience everything everyone person that I am.  does anyone have any thoughts?  I happened upon it as I was typing a post asking for ideas.. so if anyone has any.. please share.. I'd love to hear them.  

God Bless the USA!

So.. I was supposed to go to bed like an hour ago??? Instead I texted my friend who is Bahrain... there she is just starting her day and I thought I would send a salutation to her and a thank you, for all she does to ensure that the freedoms we celebrate on this day remain our freedoms.  So we chatted back and forth a bit.. I love modern technology!!!! Now 2 minutes ago as I begin to put my computer away.. my blessed neighborhood comes to life!  Fireworks everywhere!  Its not so abnormal actually... and I have days where it is endearing and so NYC and days where the ruckus outside sends me running down the hall into the living room where I have to dodge a recliner and jump over my roommates computers and printers and sometimes an actual roommate to get up on the futon which was purchased but never removed from our apt... just so I can actually lean out the window where I will yell.. yes yell for a moment of silence... which i never get.. I don't think people actually hear me.  Ok well, I may have every intention of yelling but when I actually arrive at the window a little voice in my head says.. don't disturb the neighbors... anyway you'd have to yell it in spanish anyway, so I just stand there at the window whisper yelling for just a moment of silence. .. ooo speaking of silence.. I think it has happened without me yelling :)  I better try to get to sleep before the kazoo band starts again like last night :)  Ahhhh NYC!!!!

Eat Pray Love By Elizabeth Gilbert

What an amazing book. What a lame start to this mini review! I decided to read it after sitting at a rooftop party listening to people talk about how it changed their lives. I had always thought it was some new age book but...NO WAY! I will say that I am drawn to personal stories, so I am prone to be "Inspired" easily.. but this book did so much more than that for me. It helped me begin to look at myself and have my own personal crossover. If you haven't read this book yet you may not understand that but you will. Upon finishing this book I took time to honestly evaluate who I am, what I believe, how I practice what I believe, and who I want to be. I can't say I've been 100% successful in the areas I am working on but that's right I am human! If you haven't read it pick it up... it's worth it and if you have read it and have thoughts to share I'd love to hear them.

Not again!

ok.. so I was going to do a post tonight until I looked at the clock........

.. and so I do nothing.

I have been having a conversation lately with a good friend here in the city and then again today I  shared it in a conversation with my best friend.. that I am compiling a list of the things that I am realizing that I fear or feel inadequate about myself about, and I call it my  ... and so I do nothing list.  

This practice has been amazing and painful all at the same time. 

One of my things is that I compare myself to people...decide that they act or do whatever it is better than me ... and you guessed it... I do nothing!  

My friend was amazing as usual and challenged me with something that her pastor had said recently about how when we compare ourselves with others and make judgements like that we are basically telling God that what is created is worthless.  Ouch!   

This thought stuck with me through most of the day and I happened upon this quote by Nelson Mandela... which says something similar... and I think this is my new quote on my wall...

" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won' t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."- Nelson Mandela

Updates

I am trying to figure out where my lack of motivation is coming from when it comes to my blog...  to be honest I am just trying to find me in NYC most of the time right now.   Anyway... I am sure there will be more of this at some later date, but it's been over a month again and I have walked and given no photos or updates to anyone...no other word but SAD!  So.. the AIDS walk!  I did walk  On May 18 and it was Amazing!  It was so great to be a part of something so  massive.  Also thank you to my friends for helping me reach my $200 goal... it was just an experience I am not sure there are words for.  

I walked with my friend Mitch and it was a fantastic time.. we talked about everything... including our lives as actors, the beauty of Central Park, how hungry and thirsty we were... it seemed that unless you were a super walker water was out of the question or the super people in front of us were really thirsty... though at about mile 5 we did get some water.  But I think the thing I took most from this experience was the lack of ministry representation.  Coming from the Jesus Land background that I do I guess I half expected there to be people out with their anti-gay foolishness, but as we began to walk... I saw a handful of people with t-shirts with the name of a church I wish I could remember, which got me thinking that I think that Christians have it wrong.  Yes... it was Sunday morning.. but here is a PRIME time and place to just walk alongside people and let them know that you love and care for them as Christ did and all I saw was a handful of people.  Now that is not to say there were not more than that there who were just people like me.... but I think churches have amazing opportunities that they never even see to just be Jesus to someone without really saying a word.  

Word of the month!

No... have no fear my few faithful readers, I have not turned grammer geek. This is the one and only word of the month I intend to ever have... if I have another I don't forsee it being anytime soon. Enough already what is the word? What? you don't like my rambling? Fine then, the word is CHANGE. This past few months since graduation I have had a lot of time to reflect on life and it's amazing what you can learn about yourself when you take the time to reflect on some things. So all that to say... you will be seeing some changes in the blog shortly, complete with name change as you can see... Journey of Dreams... so please keep checking back for updates.

AIDS Walk 2008

On May 18 I will be walking around Central Park to Fight AIDS. This is something I wanted to do last year but because of school wasn't able to do. I have never done anything like this before so it is going to be a fun experience. So that being said.. I have a goal of $200 and as you can see by my little red thermometer to the right I only need $125 more! Thank you to Joanne and Lorann for their donations! Now with the help of the rest of my faithful readers, I know we can explode that thermometer!

On top of the world

So the other night i am at a friends place... for a 1st nice day in the city rooftop party and we are chillin and I look behind me and see this....  Absolutly amazing!  It was so peaceful up there.. the hum of the city was so far away I never wanted to leave!

One step at a time

I have been having one of those strike that.... lots of those God moments lately. I'm not even sure exactly how to articulate it and maybe it can't be put into words but it's a peace... in the midst of madness. My life currently consists of three jobs right now and that's not where I want to be... not that anyone wants to be living with three jobs ever, though lots of us in this fantastic industry of entertainment seem to live this way! Since graduation I have found myself asking what the heck am I doing here. Living the dream? If so what is the dream? I have spent so much of my life having the dream driving me... pushing me toward something and I took so many detours along the way but tonight I was walking in Times Square... some people call it the heart of the madness, but I love it. I don't think there has yet to be a time that I have been down there and not just wanted to hold my hands out in the center of it all and spin in circles, but I digress... I was walking thru Times Square just listening to music and looking up at all the lights and just had this awe of where this leg of my journey has brought me. No idea what is next... but I have learned to love it! Trust, faith and obedience.. these are the words I am living by day by day moment by moment as my grandmother says. Good Times!!!!

Maybe I'm not a Blogger

I don't know what it is but I don't just want to post something to post. I know people are curious about my life but I don't think there are that many readers. I think the concept is great! I have been putting it off all month since graduation and now I am at the Mac store on lunch thinking... I should say hi to the blog world. So all that to say I won't leave but I need to figure out who I am as a blogger... I know deep isn't it? So what is life as a non-student new yorker? It's less stressful for sure. I am trying to find the balance between "work" and my craft.... This is the biggest struggle... so if any of you out there are millionaires and would like to help me out that would be amazing. I am almost reorganized in my life so then it is making a plan and executing... I know I sound nuts well maybe I am I am an actor aren't I?

The countdown is on!

To all my faithful readers... not sure that you are reading at all anymore but I have 2 seconds.. to say....

GRADUATION IS IN 6 DAYS!

yes I graduate on Sat the 2nd! So I will be back soon to post updates on my life and fill you in on how things have been the past few months.

Thanksgiving in the City

Well.. this is my 2nd Thanksgiving here in NYC! Last year it was quite the adventure as I tried to take my friends from Sunny Miami, FL, and Mexico City to the Parade. As you can see from the pics it was less than enjoyable. We didn't make it all the way thru because we were soaked to the bone and thought it would be foolish... as if it wasn't to begin with!

Raziel and Brandi at the 2006 Thanksgiving Day Parade, I think Raziel lasted an hour!

As you can see due to the weather the balloons were flying very low

Back at the dorm after we conceded defeat!

SO with that experience behind me I decided that I would forgo that again and stay in and watch the parade, which I did in my fantastic Dallas Jammies! After that it was setting up for the party! We had some friends over and had what I would call a very successful Thanksgiving Dinner.

Our pretty table all set and ready to go! Complete with the Dogshow in the background!

A NYC Thanksgiving Buffet!

Me and Jasmine in the Kitchen I think I am giving her a hard time about being on the internet in the Kitchen!

It's the roomies! Me, Stacy, Jasmine, and Paul. Jen was the only one missing.. but also the only one with a boyfriend :)

At the end of a long day... after the Cowboys won and all the games were played... I on the slepping chair getting set for a long long nap!

I am officially 2 degrees away from Tennessee

Yes it is true.. I did get cast in "The Rose Tatoo". I will be playing Miss Yorke, a teacher who tries to convinces Serafina to let her daughter to go to the school dance. It's going to be lots of fun and I can't wait to dig into the character! The show starts in 20 days I think, so it's going to be crazy times!

Degrees of Separation

Everyone does the Keven Bacon degrees game but last night as I was on stage reading in my audition for "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof" and "Rose Tatoo" I realized that I am only 2 degrees away from Teneessee Williams. My director actually knew him personally and did some of his shows! His work is phenominal and I do hope I get to do a role for the showcase.. I will let you know!

Another Day in NYC

This morning was unlike most of my mornings... trying to get out the door always feeling like there is something I am missing, but can't figure out so I strap on my way too heavy backpack and usually another bag full of Library books and head out. Well today was different because as I opened the door out of the building a huge chain whizzed past my face. It was a bike chain(mind you bike chains in NYC are more like some kind of heavy duty chain you would find on a farm in WI), and in front of it was a guy running for his life. Before I knew what was happening i ran across the street in the opposite direction in case of gunfire... I know I guess it was the first though running thru my head. No sooner had I crossed and an impala sped backwards up the street and a big dude jumped out to take the kid down.... after standing and watching from a distance the cops arrived and I guess that the guys were actually undercover officers chasing a thief. I have no clue where there chain comes in all I am is glad it missed my face! I was not scared in the least though... just another day to keep my eyes open and know what's around!