MY NY: AC? HA!

Welcome to My NY I have been wanting to do posts entitled "My NY"  things in this city from my perspective... and so with 61 days left in the city :)  I begin!  Better late than never right?  

... it's hot and my window fan (not pictured above is blowing some type of warm air in my general direction I have lots of experience with the heat so it's really not that much of a bother, but today it's getting to me.... this AC unit above is from last year when we thought it would be a good idea... turns out bills went up and cooling really never happened!  Oh Well :)  

And thats My NY!

-P

Can anyone help?

Hello out there?  Does anyone read me?  I know I ask this crazy question when i only post once every six months.. but I have a feeling that I am going to be posting more often and I really dislike my page.  I love this Orange thing now... because I love orange.. but I am struggling with the design part of this.  I want to like my layout and I can do lots of things but layout design is not something I am great at. Do I have anyone out there who would like to help  me out?

-P

Donde esta la Paz?

Holy Cow it's been almost 6 months since I was here.  I saw Julie and Julia last night and it was all about blogging and for some reason I think tonight is as good a time as any to "share my heart with the world"?   Since my Boys are up ( Yay football!)  I can turn down the volume and write a little.  

I leave NY in 68 days!  I know it's the exact step that I need to take   I love these times of extreme faith and seeming free-falling.  I know that God will work everything out because he promised he would and He's proven faithful thus far!  I don't really have the fear about that but rather there is a sort of panic that hits me when I try to figure out jobs to apply for.  I freeze up at this step a lot.  I can do anything!  I have experience in a million different things and yet I want more than anything to pursue the deepest desire in my heart and at the moment it feels so far away.   I am the first to talk about the Journey  and one step at a time but I am terrible at it. Well I'll take my own advice... breathe... pray and start again tomorrow! 

- P

Can you sleep?.. Here's some nutty for you!

I wish I was a person who could sleep like everyone else.  I would love to turn out the light at 9 and drift away for a great nights sleep... but this is too often not in my cards.  Sleep comes to me in many forms: 1. pass out while watching a movie, (which my roommates can attest to and tease me incessantly for) 2. tossing and turning with my mind running a million miles an hour with plans, dreams, fears etc, and 3. after I have facebooked into oblivion, cleaned my room yet again ( an 8x8 room is so easily a disaster it's needed multiple times daily), and just can't think of anything else to do. In college I used to do the Tylenol PM thing, but find that to be though a good sleep not one that I should revert to given my family history with drug addiction.  So I share with you my blog readers who I think are probably few due to the fact that I post so rarely, that I am up tonight unable to sleep.  

Yesterday a friend asked me what is is like to not have thoughts in your head. I guess that her brain goes all the time... giving her little peace lately.  I told her its just empty there is just nothing there. Quiet...Peaceful.  

THIS IS NOT MY MIND TONIGHT

I am beginning to wonder if my brain is ADD sometimes and can't even slow down for me to grasp anything.  You know like a CD in the player that you can hear spinning but the player wont recognize it. Maybe that's my brain more often than not.  

I will say that over the past few months I have found that I worry less about things.  Less being the key word.  I am a planner.. and that is putting it mildly.  I plan for everything!  I see the goal be it big or small and then I make multiple plans.... I mean what if?  Right?   BUT I love spontaneity.  Does this make any sense at all?  I love that I am learning these things about myself.  I am me.. Prissi, Cilla, P, Scilly, and those are the few names I know people call me :) and everyday I embrace the nuts that my life is a little more. 

Over the River and Thru the woods!

Thanks in Random

Thought I'd post today... sat a long time trying to compile my thoughts.. but i'm all over the place.. and so is my thankfulness :)

• Family( today is my 23 anniversary)
  
• Friends ( getting to spend today with my best friend was a huge blessing on so many levels)
  
• Dallas Wins!
  
• Big Dreams
  
• amazing memories ( I have been going thru old boxes and clearing out! all I can say is wow I have had some crazy times)
  
• Will and Grace
  
• ow.. this blasted hang nail ( can I be thankful for this?)
  
• Pumpkin anything
  
• fires( in fireplaces)
  
• hills (to run up!)
  
• YouTube
  
• Facebook!
  
• Broadway
  
• America
• Lorann (my friend serving in the Navy in Bahrain...so thankful for her!)
• my ipod (which has been pumping Supreme Music Program into my head a lot lately.. and I am loving it!)
• Ozzy and Sharon... need I say more
• smoked turkey ( loved it!)
• Sleep in quietville ( living in NYC there is no quiet on the street below all night but being home has been so great and quiet.. yikes speaking of sleep!  I have to get up in no time :)   

maybe I'll post some memories from 4 wheeling tomorrow :)

Quote of the Day

We are artists, a mysterious people, who on any given day experience more insecurity, fear of 

rejection, failure, and intense loneliness than the average person would ever sign up to endure, yet out of our "burden" pours a light and inspiration that heals and transforms our world when we trust in who we are. 

ok.... i am so irritated

I have just watched the uneven bars event and I am soooooooooooo over these strange rules and this age controversy thing has me yelling at the TV!!!!  Some of the rules make no sense.... AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH... ok thank you for letting me vent! 

Impossible?

Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given then to explore the power they have to change it.  Impossible is not a fact it's an opinion.  Impossible is not a declaration it's a dare.  Impossible is potential.  Impossible is temporary.  Impossible is nothing!

Read this in a Maxwell book and really liked it, so I thought I'd share

Repaving now? Really?

So... I guess the city of NY decided that our entire block needed street repairs.  I wouldn't know really due to the fact that I never drive!  SAD :(  But it was posted outside tonight from 6PM to to 6 AM that they were working and sure enough... 6 pm on the dot the noise began... I never realized how much of a ruckus those machines can be... of course the echo off the surrounding buildings doesn't help.   So anyway they tore up the street around our apt and then it got quiet so now just as I am trying to get myself to bed... they round the corner with more ruckus.. oh how the city speaks :)  Maybe I'll rent a car after this to try out the new roads!

Ahhhh Paige Davis

I woke up late this morning so I missed my intended church service... ( of course since is it NYC I still have 2 more options for the day)  So I decided to turn on the tube and what did I find.  A throw back to the good ol days and Paige Davis!  I love her! hosting a Space Trade in LA from 2002!  I miss watching this show and watching it makes me want a space of my own to play in! 

New Title

So I thought that the title i had was not enough.. me.. It was me.. but the sappy Jesus land plain jane me.. not the out here ready to take on the world and experience everything everyone person that I am.  does anyone have any thoughts?  I happened upon it as I was typing a post asking for ideas.. so if anyone has any.. please share.. I'd love to hear them.  

God Bless the USA!

So.. I was supposed to go to bed like an hour ago??? Instead I texted my friend who is Bahrain... there she is just starting her day and I thought I would send a salutation to her and a thank you, for all she does to ensure that the freedoms we celebrate on this day remain our freedoms.  So we chatted back and forth a bit.. I love modern technology!!!! Now 2 minutes ago as I begin to put my computer away.. my blessed neighborhood comes to life!  Fireworks everywhere!  Its not so abnormal actually... and I have days where it is endearing and so NYC and days where the ruckus outside sends me running down the hall into the living room where I have to dodge a recliner and jump over my roommates computers and printers and sometimes an actual roommate to get up on the futon which was purchased but never removed from our apt... just so I can actually lean out the window where I will yell.. yes yell for a moment of silence... which i never get.. I don't think people actually hear me.  Ok well, I may have every intention of yelling but when I actually arrive at the window a little voice in my head says.. don't disturb the neighbors... anyway you'd have to yell it in spanish anyway, so I just stand there at the window whisper yelling for just a moment of silence. .. ooo speaking of silence.. I think it has happened without me yelling :)  I better try to get to sleep before the kazoo band starts again like last night :)  Ahhhh NYC!!!!

Eat Pray Love By Elizabeth Gilbert

What an amazing book. What a lame start to this mini review! I decided to read it after sitting at a rooftop party listening to people talk about how it changed their lives. I had always thought it was some new age book but...NO WAY! I will say that I am drawn to personal stories, so I am prone to be "Inspired" easily.. but this book did so much more than that for me. It helped me begin to look at myself and have my own personal crossover. If you haven't read this book yet you may not understand that but you will. Upon finishing this book I took time to honestly evaluate who I am, what I believe, how I practice what I believe, and who I want to be. I can't say I've been 100% successful in the areas I am working on but that's right I am human! If you haven't read it pick it up... it's worth it and if you have read it and have thoughts to share I'd love to hear them.

Not again!

ok.. so I was going to do a post tonight until I looked at the clock........

.. and so I do nothing.

I have been having a conversation lately with a good friend here in the city and then again today I  shared it in a conversation with my best friend.. that I am compiling a list of the things that I am realizing that I fear or feel inadequate about myself about, and I call it my  ... and so I do nothing list.  

This practice has been amazing and painful all at the same time. 

One of my things is that I compare myself to people...decide that they act or do whatever it is better than me ... and you guessed it... I do nothing!  

My friend was amazing as usual and challenged me with something that her pastor had said recently about how when we compare ourselves with others and make judgements like that we are basically telling God that what is created is worthless.  Ouch!   

This thought stuck with me through most of the day and I happened upon this quote by Nelson Mandela... which says something similar... and I think this is my new quote on my wall...

" Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.  It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.  We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?  You are a child of God.  Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won' t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.  We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.  It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.  And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.  As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."- Nelson Mandela

Updates

I am trying to figure out where my lack of motivation is coming from when it comes to my blog...  to be honest I am just trying to find me in NYC most of the time right now.   Anyway... I am sure there will be more of this at some later date, but it's been over a month again and I have walked and given no photos or updates to anyone...no other word but SAD!  So.. the AIDS walk!  I did walk  On May 18 and it was Amazing!  It was so great to be a part of something so  massive.  Also thank you to my friends for helping me reach my $200 goal... it was just an experience I am not sure there are words for.  

I walked with my friend Mitch and it was a fantastic time.. we talked about everything... including our lives as actors, the beauty of Central Park, how hungry and thirsty we were... it seemed that unless you were a super walker water was out of the question or the super people in front of us were really thirsty... though at about mile 5 we did get some water.  But I think the thing I took most from this experience was the lack of ministry representation.  Coming from the Jesus Land background that I do I guess I half expected there to be people out with their anti-gay foolishness, but as we began to walk... I saw a handful of people with t-shirts with the name of a church I wish I could remember, which got me thinking that I think that Christians have it wrong.  Yes... it was Sunday morning.. but here is a PRIME time and place to just walk alongside people and let them know that you love and care for them as Christ did and all I saw was a handful of people.  Now that is not to say there were not more than that there who were just people like me.... but I think churches have amazing opportunities that they never even see to just be Jesus to someone without really saying a word.  

Word of the month!

No... have no fear my few faithful readers, I have not turned grammer geek. This is the one and only word of the month I intend to ever have... if I have another I don't forsee it being anytime soon. Enough already what is the word? What? you don't like my rambling? Fine then, the word is CHANGE. This past few months since graduation I have had a lot of time to reflect on life and it's amazing what you can learn about yourself when you take the time to reflect on some things. So all that to say... you will be seeing some changes in the blog shortly, complete with name change as you can see... Journey of Dreams... so please keep checking back for updates.

AIDS Walk 2008

On May 18 I will be walking around Central Park to Fight AIDS. This is something I wanted to do last year but because of school wasn't able to do. I have never done anything like this before so it is going to be a fun experience. So that being said.. I have a goal of $200 and as you can see by my little red thermometer to the right I only need $125 more! Thank you to Joanne and Lorann for their donations! Now with the help of the rest of my faithful readers, I know we can explode that thermometer!

On top of the world

So the other night i am at a friends place... for a 1st nice day in the city rooftop party and we are chillin and I look behind me and see this....  Absolutly amazing!  It was so peaceful up there.. the hum of the city was so far away I never wanted to leave!